You're Here. You Matter. Enough Said.

When you are small like a teacup
it seems everyone has heavy hands.
But cracks give us character:
we can keep memories in the fractures
which would otherwise slide away.
I have learned to be unafraid of breaking,
and I hope you will do the same

___________

Oh my god. What have I done? -- The first thoughts after pressing "publish" on yesterday's post. Am I really back? Can I do this? Am I ready to be honest and personal and open to literally anyone in the world that has internet connection?

That's when my best friend and conscience, Roma, reminded me: "Your blog was so real when you did it for yourself. So raw, and that's why I love it. As long as you remember why you write, you won't forget how you write."

I lost sight of that. When I started the blog it was 100% for myself and my expression. If people happen to read it and enjoy it... Bonus. Lovely. Awesome. I continue with that intention.

What made me become guarded and secretive of my life? Astrology would tell me it's because I'm a Scorpio. Perhaps this is true. Perhaps my planets weren't aligned, perhaps Mercury was in retrograde. Perhaps I needed time to breathe and heal and find my feet on my own without expressing it to the world. But I also have a grand trine in my chart, so things usually happen with ease and people are eagerly willing to lend a hand. Do you understand my astrology references? Me neither, hardly.

A mentor of mine told me yesterday that with life in general, I will not be lied to unless I am lying to myself. Ponder that. Everything is a mirror. This same woman, during a long period of silence while working, looked up at me and said very gently: "God is not the author of fear, you are." No other words. Just that. I love those moments.

Anything that hurts, that you have to heal from, that you forgive... fuels a poem. Creates beauty.

You don't have to take everything so seriously,

Marley