Being In Love / Being In Denial

"I am doing something I hate for you. This is what it means to be in love."

Readers, how are you today? I know its only been a day since we last talked but I missed you so much! I love this relationship we are carrying on. Its one of the most precious things to me. Thank you for the encouragement, the texts, the emails, the anonymous messages-- except for the anonymous person emailing me about my Mom. I know she's hot, but she's very much taken... by my Dad.
While we're at it, please tell me your thoughts on which parent I resemble more, cause I have never understood:

_______________

I don't have any poetic ramblings on love or life or death or how I want you to be dangerous, but I will tell you that today... I am glowing. I could hardly sleep last night- not a big surprise for me- and I'm looking forward to the future. Although, future is a big word. You can't just throw that shit around. Its inevitable that the future is coming, and whether you like it or not you're going to be there too. Isn't it interesting how the people or things from the past really stick with you for all of your futures? As much as you say "its all in the past" that's only half true, because that's what made your present, which makes your future. Every moment before this one lead to this one.

Its February. A new month is always exciting to me. My music video with The Latency will premiere on Much Music soon. Do you know what else is coming up in the near future? ...Valentines day. Do you celebrate valentines day? Was it just a holiday made up to boost hallmark's revenue? Does it matter? I grew up excited for valentines day and its message of sharing love and showing appreciation. I don't see a point in changing my mind or "hating valentines day" just because I'm single. Really, single ladies? Just cause you don't have a man to put a ring on it, doesn't mean you should hate Vday. Is that a little discriminatory? I don't hate hannukah just because I'm not jewish! Anyway, if you celebrate valentines day, start thinking. You have 2 weeks. V-day is on a Sunday. Maybe celebrate on saturday.

Did you see the Grammy's?! Did you see what Lady Gaga was wearing? Did you see Taylor Swift win her FIRST Grammy?! Did you see Michael Jackson's kids' heartfelt speech? Did you see Beyonce doing an Alanis Morrissette cover?! ---I didn't. Because I was filming another comedy sketch with Comedy Made Short - which is awesome, by the way, and will be posted next week. But I DID youtube Gaga and Elton John's performance. I LOOVE that they sang "Speechless"together. This song does something to me. It's just that one lyric:
"I'll never talk again, oh boy you've left me speechless."
I love that feeling.

Something you may be interested in... Avatar 2?! Seriously!!

(You may recognize the poorly body-painted female avatar on the left)

Also, This past weekend, Tiffany and I de-cluttered our condo.
And by that I mean, I took down all of my disney stuff while Tiffany laughed and video taped it all. Everything. All of it. Gone.
Ladies and Gentleman, this weekend, I became a grown-up.
I know, it's about time.

Entertainment News

• Beyonce made history as she took home 6 GRAMMY's last night.
• Kristen Bell engaged to Dax Shepard 
• Miss Virginia won the Miss. America beauty pageant this weekend
• Rumored love interest between Glee's Cory Monteith and Taylor Swift
• Two of my favorites! Lady Gaga and Bono have joined the lineup to remake “We are the World” today, which will help the earthquake survivors in Haiti. Kanye West, Usher, Jennifer Hudson, and Miley Cyrus are a few of the artists already on board.

I Wonder How Much Time We'll Spend Pointlessly Chasing Things Instead Of Laughing

Sometimes my hand starts to burn and I am convinced we are writing the same word at the same moment.

I reread all of my blog posts and found there are many recurring themes and many things that I have shared about myself.
In a nutshell, here it is:

Hi, my name is Marley. I like to drink red wine, watch Walter Matthau movies, and I don't sleep often- and I don't drink coffee. I've had my heart broken a few times but it was the best thing to ever happen to me. I moved out when I was 18 and I have no problem picking up and going somewhere new in search of excitement. I have a lot of ambitions. Acting, entertainment news, and performing are my passions. Life is good. And I adore my parents-- although I need to figure out where to draw the line between parent and friend so I can avoid bringing up completely inappropriate parent-child conversations, and not embarrass my mom in public. When I was younger I used to tell people Sandra Bullock was my mom. I made up a lot of weird stories when I was younger. I started getting telemarketers calling my number for "Marlise Labeouf" which is a hint that I use my fake name too often and for not good enough reasons.

Oh, and I want you to be dangerous.

Today's Entertainment News
Grammy night! Things you can look forward to:

1. J-Lo is presenting, and if we're lucky, she'll wear something along the lines of.. nothing. Like in 2000 
2. Rihanna will be attending the awards show alone. Remember, she kinda missed it last year
3. There will be talk of Haiti. Lots.
4. Lady Gaga and Elton John opening the show together!
5. A 3D tribute to Michael Jackson
6. Michael Jackson's kids are making an appearance on stage as well
7. Travis Barker performing with Drake, Eminem, and Lil Wayne
8. The Cast of the Broadway show, American Idiot will join with Green Day for a performance.
9. Possible reunion of nominees, Taylor Swift and Kanye West?

A Tree You Needed To Climb, A Trick You Needed To Learn. A Piece Of Music. A Climbing Problem. A Number Of Burning Swords To Juggle.

The only thing more painful than being an active forgetter is to be an inert rememberer.

"Everyone is always going through tough things, the irony in it is that everyone thinks what they're going through is just as hard as what you are. Life isn't about surviving this, it's about understanding this"

I like the first two minutes after you wake up in the morning. You're still not really awake and your mind hasn't fully travelled between the dream world and the real world. You're still in the transition from unconscious to conscious, between dreams, fantasy, and reality. The two minutes where everything is fine and numb. The universe somehow magically allows you 120 seconds to just be you. You don't even know where you are yet, or who is sleeping beside you--or who is not sleeping beside you. Then there's that moment where it all just hits you. All the memories come flooding back and you remember everything.

The guy you just met and the new crush you have. The rent cheque that is due and your paycheque that is late. The dreaded deadline for that assignment which has caused you sleepless nights for weeks. The fight you had with your best friend, who you didn't wake up to a "good morning" text message from.

It doesn't matter what it is, sometimes the first feelings when you wake up are so intense. But listen, get the hell up. Don't you dare turn back in under the sheets and try to sleep it off. We are built to surprise ourselves. Constantly. The alarm goes off and you think there's no way you could get up out of your safe, warm bed and make it through the day. But you do. Maybe it took a few extra cups of coffee, but you did it. You wake up with a wicked hangover and think you'll never drink again. But you do. Did you forget how much it hurt? Nope, you just remember how much fun you had. Someone crushes your hopes and dreams and whatever pieces of your heart still left in your chest and you swear that you'll never love again. Guess what? You do. And in those quiet moments where everything is perfect, it's all worth it. What goes up must come down but what is down will go back up again, I promise. I'm in one of those moods where I'm at the top of the ferris wheel. I'm content with where I am, with the view, the people, and everything around me... I always aim for a bigger ferris wheel, but in this moment, I'm happy with what I've got.

--That being said, those who know me best will know that this won't last. I'll start twitching and won't be able to sit still. Soon I'll be that obnoxious kid rocking the bench back and forth trying to make the ride more exciting.

Keep Reaching. Keep Climbing. Be Dangerous.

Today's Entertainment News

• Michael Jackson's children will be accepting his Lifetime Achievement Award tomorrow at the Grammy's
• Roy Orbison honored with a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame
• "Little Fockers" - third installment of "Meet The Fockers" was supposed to be released this summer, but is now pushed back to December
• Matt Damon will be receiving the American Cinematheque Award in March. This award recognizes artists who are making a contribution to the art of movies.
• ...I told you it wasn't over. PANTS ON THE GROUND will be performed at the Grammy's on the red carpet before the show